Just Say No

It hit me about a mile and a half from home. The light turned green, I proceeded to drive cautiously but somewhat speedily as I'd had a long, long, long, long, long day at work. If I had received just one more request from a co-worker to deliver data that was already in their possession, I think I would have had a mild meltdown. The new organization structure (which I am not crazy about - at all), the lack of initiatives taken by those who should take it, and the what seems like never ending demands, were heavy on my mind as I rolled through the light.

Then - in a split second, it hit me in my chest extremely hard. WHAT are you doing complaining and murmuring about the lost? AAAAAHHHHH - such a jolting sensation. Conviction sat beside me and lowered the volume of the radio. OOOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOO. I heard it all. How? How? How? - could you talk about the work ethics of your coworkers to a nonbeliever? You've got a lot of cleanup to do, and do not bother taking lunch tomorrow because you will be having several dishes of humble pie. Where was God's glory in your behavior today? Instead of talking about how poorly someone works, why don't you help them improve? It might not be in your job description, but God will be glorified through your loving (uncomplaining) actions. If your boss never has team meetings and doesn't communicate with you in a manner in which you need him to, why not give him suggestions instead of looking and asking for ways to get from under his leadership? There was nothing I could say to conviction. I knew the truth when I heard it.

The scripture verse I memorized five weeks ago, is Luke 9:23 "If anyone wants to come with me, he must deny himself, pick up his cross daily and follow me." For weeks I've been praying to the Lord to reveal exactly what that meant for me. Today, my prayer was answered. If I am faced with circumstances which will feed my ego or flesh, just say no, for there is no glory to God in that. If, on the other hand, I have an opportunity to forgo the flesh (i.e., taking a stand to prove that I am right), I must choose to deny the fleshly cravings. Use the situation to teach, help or support another. With such behavior, God can be glorified.

This was a really hard lesson. I am humbled, heartbroken, but headed, now, on a different road. If there will be wars waged at work, they will be me against my flesh. Trust me, I know I will be engaging in the fights of my life. But in the past few weeks and months, I've been losing, and getting beat up really badly. It's time for me to fight back. I am going in armed with the Word of God, but I also need your prayers. For any of you that may be engaged in similar battles, I will pray for you too. Father I live to show You how grateful I am for giving me a new life. Forgive me when I fail to live worthy. May You be glorified in the lives of us who are hopeless to glorify You, without You.